How to tell someone they didn’t get the job” is a question I used to dread. Over the years, as someone who’s hired dozens of candidates and interviewed hundreds, I’ve realized that delivering this message can be just as important as making the right hire. If you’re in the position of rejecting candidates, it means you’re leading, managing, or making hiring decisions and that comes with responsibility.
Let’s face it, no one wants to be the bearer of bad news. But being honest, kind, and respectful when you let someone know they weren’t selected can leave a lasting impression not just of your company, but of you as a human being. So, how do you do this right? Let me walk you through it.
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Why It Matters: Rejections Are a Reflection of Your Brand
When you think about how to tell someone they didn’t get the job, you probably focus on the candidate’s feelings which is important. But there’s more to it. Every candidate interaction is a reflection of your company and personal brand.
If you ghost a candidate or send a cold, robotic message, you risk:
- Damaging your company’s reputation
- Discouraging future applications from great talent
- Creating negative word-of-mouth
On the flip side, treating candidates with dignity and honesty even when they don’t get the job can:
- Leave the door open for future roles
- Improve your reputation
- Build goodwill in your industry
I’ve had candidates thank me for rejection letters simply because I took the time to be kind and clear. That speaks volumes.
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Timing Is Everything
When you know someone’s not getting the job, don’t delay. It’s tempting to put it off, especially if you connected with the person or they were a close second. But dragging your feet only leads to uncertainty and disappointment.
Here’s my rule of thumb: Once the final decision is made, let the candidate know within 24 to 48 hours. This shows professionalism and respect. You wouldn’t want to be left hanging, would you?
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Choose the Right Method
Not every rejection needs to be a phone call. But not every rejection should be an email, either. The method depends on how far along the person was in the hiring process.
Here’s how I break it down:
- Initial Screening Rejections: A well-written, kind email is enough.
- Post-Interview Rejections: Especially after multiple interviews, a quick phone call or personalized email goes a long way.
- Final Round Candidates: If someone made it to the final round or was a strong contender, I always call. It’s the right thing to do.
Put yourself in their shoes. If you spent hours preparing and interviewing, wouldn’t you appreciate a more personal approach?
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What to Say (And What Not to Say)
Now to the core of how to tell someone they didn’t get the job—what do you actually say?
Here’s a simple framework I use:
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Start With Gratitude
“Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us. We really appreciated the chance to get to know you.”
This sets a respectful tone and shows that their effort was valued.
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Be Clear, But Kind
“We’ve decided to move forward with another candidate for this position.”
Avoid vague phrases like “we went in a different direction” without context. You want to be clear, but gentle.
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Offer Feedback (When Appropriate)
This is tricky but important. If the candidate asks for feedback and you’re able to give it constructively, do it. Keep it short and helpful.
Something like:
“Your experience is impressive, especially in X. We were looking for someone with more experience in Y, but I think you’d be a strong fit for similar roles.”
Only offer feedback you’d be willing to receive yourself.
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Leave the Door Open
If the person was great but not the right fit right now, say so.
“I’d love to stay in touch in case another opportunity opens up that aligns with your skills.”
You’re not obligated to promise anything, but showing openness is a professional gesture.
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Email Templates That Work
If you’re wondering how to write a rejection email that’s human and kind, here’s a sample I’ve used often:
Subject Line: Your Interview with [Company Name]
Hi [Candidate Name],
Thank you again for taking the time to speak with us about the [Job Title] role. We truly enjoyed learning more about your background and your passion for [relevant experience].
After careful consideration, we’ve decided to move forward with another candidate. This decision was not easy given the strong pool of applicants, including yourself.
We really appreciate your interest in [Company Name] and the time you invested throughout the process. I hope you’ll keep in touch and consider applying again in the future.
Wishing you all the best in your next steps.
Warm regards,
[Your Name]
[Your Title]
Phone Script (for Final Round Candidates)
Here’s what I say when making the call:
“Hi [Name], this is [Your Name] from [Company]. I wanted to thank you personally for your time and energy during the interview process. We truly enjoyed getting to know you.
After a lot of thought, we’ve decided to move forward with another candidate. I know this isn’t the news you were hoping for, and I want you to know this was not an easy decision.
If you’d like feedback, I’m happy to offer some insights that might be helpful for future opportunities.”
Then I pause and let them respond.
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Emotional Intelligence Goes a Long Way
You don’t need a psychology degree to show empathy. But you do need to care. This is where emotional intelligence plays a huge role in how you tell someone they didn’t get the job.
Here are a few things I remind myself:
- This might be one of several rejections they’ve had recently.
- They may have been really excited about your company.
- They might be unemployed or under financial pressure.
So don’t just “deliver the message.” Make it human. Speak to the person, not just the applicant.
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Avoid These Common Mistakes
Even with good intentions, it’s easy to mess up this process. Here are a few traps I’ve seen (and made) myself:
- Ghosting: Don’t disappear. Even a two-line email is better than nothing.
- Over-apologizing: You’re being kind, but you didn’t do anything wrong.
- Being too vague: Candidates appreciate clarity, even if the news is disappointing.
- Dragging it out: Delayed rejection feels worse than immediate clarity.
- Giving false hope: Avoid saying things like “You were our top choice, but…” unless that’s 100% true.
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When You Want to Stay in Touch
There are times when you genuinely want to keep a candidate in mind. Maybe they weren’t quite right for this role, but they’ve got potential. In those cases, I make a note in our ATS (applicant tracking system) and even connect with them on LinkedIn.
Sometimes I send a message like:
“While we went with another candidate this time, I’d love to keep the door open for future roles at [Company]. You’ve got some unique strengths we really appreciated.”
That’s not just good etiquette—it’s smart hiring.
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The Long-Term Impact of Doing It Right
Here’s something most people don’t realize: How you reject candidates can affect your future hiring success.
A candidate you reject today might:
- Recommend others to apply
- Reapply for a better-fitting role later
- Become a client or partner
- Talk about their experience online
I once rejected a candidate who later referred a brilliant hire to us—all because I took the time to call her and offer feedback.
Summary
Learning how to tell someone they didn’t get the job isn’t just a skill it’s a leadership trait. It shows emotional maturity, professionalism, and compassion. You don’t have to make it perfect. You just have to make it real.
If you’ve ever been on the other end of a rejection and most of us have you know how much a thoughtful message can mean. So be that person. Lead with kindness, be honest, and treat every candidate like they matter because they do.
Conclusion
Telling someone they didn’t get the job is never easy, but it’s an opportunity to lead with empathy, clarity, and integrity. When you handle rejections with care, you don’t just close a door you leave a window open. You build trust, even in disappointment. And that’s what good hiring and good leadership is all about.